Between surgeons and Shiraz
by MargaretMinervaMcG
Summary: Stories of Serena, Bernie, Shiraz and the rest of the AAU-family. Featuring karaoke nights, puking patients, crushes, slowly developing relationships and of course Fletcher-Raf bets. Slightly canon-divergent, with visits from Last Tango in Halifax's Caroline and Kate, Happy Valley's Catherine and possibly some other surprises.


"Male. 14. Concussion, possibly broken nose and damaged eye socket. Heart rate normal. BP 110 over 65" Fletch declared wheeling in a young boy in sports attire, his face completely covered in blood. Bernie joined them and gave the boy a once over, then exclaimed "Christ! What did he do? Looks like he's been in the wars.''

"I believe he took a hit from a racket at point blank" and they walked onto the ward.

"Oh dear, let's hope he doesn't have hay fever- Oh and nurse Fletcher, would you mind ordering an MRI for this boy?"

"Sir yes sir" and with a small salute Fletch set off to give the boy a bed.

Thus far it had been a regular Saturday, riddled with sports injuries and one or two children falling of swings and the like. One poor sod from Friday night was still in as he managed "to shove some Legos where the sun don't shine" as Fletcher had put it very eloquently. Bernie was overlooking the bustling ward for a moment. It seemed like all the typical sports were present- safe hockey, but they still had a few hours to spare till dinner. Raf was propping up a young rugby player with a broken rib and dislocated shoulder, who had been flirting with Jasmine rather shamelessly. In the bed next to him was a middle-aged football player who broke quite some bones in his foot in an attempt to jump over the tackled player in the bed next to him. Her (least) favourite was probably the woman in bed two: Stacy. Stacy was currently sobering up, although she had loudly insisted she hadn't had a drop. She was probably the most typical suburban soccer mom Bernie ever had the (mis)fortune of having on the ward. She came including a bottle filled up with cheap cherry and an additional thermos with cheap red wine. Serena had declared the wine "a crime against humanity" after dipping her finger in it to taste some. Which had looked rather adorable, especially the small wrinkling of her nose as she disapproved. She _demanded_ to speak to the head of the ward within five minutes of her arrival as Morven asked her to take a breathalyser. Serena had rolled her eyes and declared she _absolutel_ y needed to check "some very important documents", and buggered off the nurses' station before Bernie could react. As she sat down she shot Bernie a mischievous smile and started filling out in the ward's sign-up sheet for the karaoke night next Friday in Albie's. _Very important documents indeed_. With a sigh Bernie squared her shoulders and approached the outburst waiting to happen in bed two. Checking her folder it turned out that Stacy wasn't a suburban soccer mom, but a suburban baseball mom who had taken a baseball to the face after walking onto the field to argue with a referee. _How typical_. Not feeling particularly sorry for the woman she asked for her symptoms, attempting to uphold pleasant bedside manner and not roll her eyes. Except for a mild concussion and what appeared to be a broken nose, the woman was fine. Hopefully, Stacy would be out of the hospital before the concussion wore off and she got back onto full-strength -although most of the staff would probably pay good money to see a showdown between this woman and Hanssen. As the trauma surgeon swaggered off, she noted that Stacy would probably count as a sports incident since she had taken the ball quite literally to the head. It had become a bit of a game to see if they could complete the so-called "sports-injuries" checklist. The first to realise the set was complete would get free drinks at Albie's, making it a very worthwhile challenge. Serena was positively snickering behind her computer once Bernie returned to the nurses' station.

"Don't even get me started" she shot at the brunette as she sat down "- bloody odious woman." snatching up her MRI-scan results.

"Oh, but my little darlings did absolutely nothing wrong, I demand to speak to the manager now" Serena squeaked back in her best high-pitched soccer mom imitation. Raf snorted loudly in reaction. "So what's she done then?" he asked, to which Bernie replied "Took a baseball to the head, quite literally. But she's fine other than a broken nose and a concussion."

"It's not like she had much to lose up there anyway" Raf quipped, as Serena swatted at his arm. "Save that for Albie's nurse Di Lucca".

"She does count as a sports-induced injury, right? She was on the field after all?" Bernie pondered, instantly catching the attention of Raf and Serena.

"Oh, how many are we still missing then? I could use some free Shiraz" came from Serena. "That's for you to find out, Campbell" and with that Bernie walked off to check on some other patients, knowing she wouldn't hold out long against her best friend's inquisitively arched eyebrows. It hadn't been long until Bernie had learned that Serena expressed as much with her eyes and brows, as she did with words. She would frown when upset, but slightly deeper on the left if she was trying to hide it, whilst she would squeeze her eyes when frowning at someone in jest. On the other hand, her left brow would be arched slightly sharper when Serena was hiding annoyance- especially when dealing with difficult patients.

The rest of the day passed without too much preamble, another soccer player came in, in addition to a equestrian and a cyclist. All seemed fine until approximately an thirty minutes before the end of their shift. Stacy's two " _little angels_ " had come to the ward to accompany their mother, or rather terrorise everyone else while she was in theatre. Fletcher had settled himself firmly behind the monitor, whilst Morven had decided that flirtatious rugby players were much preferable to "the little incarnations of the devil himself" as Raf had put it- before scurrying off to extract some Lego's. Bernie had hidden herself deep in the office to attend to some paperwork, leaving Serena to deal with Stacy's spawns. She saw Serena drive them out behind the nurses station and away from equipment several times. Slight guilt crept into her, but Serena had dumped some difficult patients on her last Saturday, so she couldn't feel too bad. Eventually Fletch joined her in the office, shrugging something about "too much noise outside, need a break". He sat himself down on the edge of the desk as they both gave up pretending to work, and watched the disaster unfolding outside. "When do you reckon she'll snap? I'm giving 'er ten more minutes max."

"Ha!" Bernie exclaimed, " fifteen if they don't touch any more equipment, five if they do." Fletcher shot her a cheeky smile "Is that a bet Major?"

"First round tonight?" she offered. "Deal" Fletch grinned as they shook hands, and continued watching. They didn't have to wait too long for misfortune to strike as one of the children approached a monitor, while Serena had her back turned attending to another patient.

"Oh dear" Bernie exclaimed, walking to the doorframe to get a better view.

"I'll be losing this one then ey" Fletch followed her, checking his watch.

"Do you think we should go out to-" but she was cut-off by the scene unfolding before them. Serena had turned around, instantly zeroing in on the monitor and stomping towards the two children, brow set firmly. She opened her mouth to reprimand them, but they would never know what would have been said. Before the first syllable had left her mouth, Serena tripped. "Oh shit" breathed Fletch behind Bernie, as they both realised what it was Serena had tripped over. It had been the hockey stick of the other child, which had carelessly been thrown onto the floor. Before either Fletcher of Bernie could reach Serena, she erupted "GET THOSE TWO BLOODY MONSTERS OF. MY. WARD. NOW." almost screeching, and scrambling to her feet. Raf, Fletcher and Bernie arrived just as Serena stood straight again, preventing what would have been the most gruesome murder of the century had they not arrived in time. Raf and Fletcher drove the two children out, as Bernie squeezed Serena's upper arm in an attempt to calm her. She only seemed to calm down as Raf returned with a coffee to offer her.

"Well, at least we won't have to clean their blood of the floor" joked Morven, who had joined the group now. "No, I can't imagine Hanssen reacting kindly to that" Serena breathed, before falling silent and relaxing her frown. They all eyed her curiously, unsure what was going to happen next. "Set complete" she grinned "it was a hockey stick!"

"You weren't even injured!", "What that isn't fair!" and "But you don't even play hockey!" they all clamoured, Bernie raising a questioning eyebrow under her fringe.

"Nonsense. I'm bruised pretty badly and I played for years. Besides, you left me to deal with those two devil's spawns. You owe me, all of you" Serena replied, a hint of annoyance in her voice. It was quickly decided it was fair enough. The entertainment of seeing Serena deal with them - and failing- as such had been worthwhile anyway. Raf cracked a few jokes about giving the extracted Legos to the children, but eventually it was decided that the repercussions would not be worth the hassle.

After discharging the last patients who were well enough to go, Bernie sat down with Serena in the office. To spend their last fifteen minutes filing away some documents and answering the emails that had come in during the shift. "Did you really play hockey?" Bernie couldn't help but ask _-because I would have paid good money to see you run around in those skirts_ she added mentally. Immediately after shaking her head as to shake off the thought, Serena was attractive but that wasn't reason to think about her friend like this. Her thoughts were interrupted by Serena answering "Oh I definitely did, I was quite good at it as well -and probably a complete hazard on the field" with a giggle. "Oh dear, now that would be unheard of; Miss Campbell a hazard, who would have thought" Bernie teased with twinkling eyes. "You know me, once I set my eyes on a goal..."

"-trust you to tackle any obstacle" Bernie answered.

"Well, technically speaking that's not allowed in hockey, but on some occasions a bit of _gentle persuasion_ to let go of the ball might have been needed" the brunette smiled, fluttering her lashes with mock coyness. Bernie couldn't help but laugh in her usual exclamatory manner, ending in a snort "Here I thought I was the Big Macho Army Medic, seems like _Big Macho Hockey Player_ wouldn't go amiss either." For a second they both fell silent, before filling the office with uninhibited laughter. Between Bernie's honking and her own outbursts Serena managed to sputter out "Well, it's difficult to be macho when parading up in skirts barely covering your bum. I tell, you those things were criminally short. Not that bothered us much at the time- it meant more free drinks from the boy's teams after all."

For the next few minutes no other words were spoken as both women now lay crumpled on their desks, laughing loudly. When she eventually caught her breath again Serena grasped her stomach, her muscles were clearly no longer in the shape they once were. She wouldn't be surprised if she had a muscle ache the next day. On the other side of the office, her blonde colleague was wiping at her tearstained cheeks. Eventually, Bernie got up to change, telling Serena she'd see her at the entrance or at Albie's.

It wasn't long before she saw Bernie approaching in her usual soft-pink coat. They walked to Albie's together, bantering and discussing their day. Most of the others from AAU were already at Albie's, joined by some of the Keller folks. Serena didn't waste any time to claim her much deserved Shiraz, graciously sharing some of it. Fletch and Raf who were sat next at the bar were giving their best imitations of Stacy in high-pitched squeaky voices, both trying to disguise their respective accents. It wasn't long before the entire bar was filled with laughter as Fletch and Raf enacted what they imagined a marital dispute in suburbia would look like. It had been a good day.


End file.
